Date #3 – BX’s second date – “Love is a Battlefield”

After the wine date with BX, the next week he texted me and asked me if I had plans on Friday or Saturday. I told him that I was available on Saturday and he texted me back “do you have 80’s clothes?” Hmmm – intriguing. My response was important. If I jumped back and said yes too quickly, would he think I was weird for having 80’s clothes so readily available? If I said no, would he not let me in on something cool that was happening? So I settled on the response “I’m sure I could find something” – how very elusive of me, right? He shot back a text to me saying “then prepare for an 80’s party!” With further back and forth, I learned that it was an 80’s themed house party celebrating his friend’s birthday. I guess I could be down for that, I was thinking to myself – I mean who am I to turn down a good “theme” party?

So Saturday rolled around, and I was still recovering from my Friday night thanks to Cat’s Black, White, and Bling Bash – see, I told you I can’t turn down a theme party. On my way home from the South Bay I start to evaluate what I was actually going to wear to this thing. Do I go all out? I mean this is only a second date and I could still very easily scare this guy off. I didn’t know him or his friends at all – so how much do they actually “get into” a theme? The other factor weighing in on decision is that I still wanted to look somewhat like myself since this was a date – i.e. no wigs were in my future. So with all those things in mind, I decided I would do a jean skirt (something I owned), hot pink fishnets (something I needed to buy), and then some kind of top. I stopped off at a mall on my way home and picked up some pink fishnets and also scored an awesome white belt with pink studs – this outfit was really coming together. I regret to inform you loyal readers that I did not take any photos of the finished outfit…I apologize – I will be more diligent about these pertinent blog materials in the future. However, here is a glimpse at what the outfit looked like…

Pink Fishnets + jean skirt + off the shoulder top + white and pink studded belt = 80’s magic.

+ + +


BX called me and confirmed he would pick me up at 8. He showed up right on time, and I pranced down nervously in my 80’s get-up. He was parked outside of my apartment sitting in his jeep-like suv, and he had the passenger side window rolled down.
“Woooowwwww” he said from the car with a grin. I did a twirl and admitted that I clearly can get into themes. As I got in the car, I evaluated his outfit. He had ripped jeans and a fraternity shirt – he claimed to be a fraternity guy from the 80’s. Not the most ingenious outfit I had ever seen, but hey, mine wasn’t top of the line either.

So we take the short 5-minute drive to his friend’s place. We parked and were walking up to the apartment when BX ran into his friend and date. He hollered out his last name as we crossed the street. I thought “does he call everyone by their last names or is this his 80’s “fraternity” persona that he is embracing?” He introduced me to his friend, tells me that they have worked together, and then we all headed in.

We walked inside about 10 minutes after 8pm, and there were 4 girls in awesome 80’s outfits, feverishly still setting up. We were the first ones there…great. I was definitely out of my comfort zone. Not only was I on a second date, and not only was I at a party where I knew NO-ONE, but now I was the “uncomfortable first guest.” Now if you are going to a close friend’s or family member’s party, being the first guest is not that weird, but being at a party where you don’t really know the people and you are first….well, that is just uncomfortable. And from the other perspective, as I have hosted several events, it sucks when people start arriving, but you are still behind on the set-up and are just not ready for people to be there.

BX started pointing out girls and telling me their names, and labeling one girl as his “BFF.”
All night he called her “BFF,” not her actual name – is that strange?
Anyways, after the quick roll call, BX opened the bottle of wine he brought – yes, a bottle of white wine – and poured us two glasses. Right after we got our drinks, the main hostess asked BX “could we convince you to run to the store and grab some ice?” BX of course agreed, and I expected him to turn to me and say “let’s go,” but instead he handed me his drink and said, “I’ll be right back.”
WHAT???!!! I wanted to respond, “Oh no, I coming with you!” but before my mouth could even open, he was already out the door. AGGGHHHH! Now not only am I the weird girl at the party that nobody knows, but I’ve been ditched by my date and I’m all alone! And in pink fishnets! *Sigh*

I wander around the apartment looking at all the décor they put up. They did a really cute job decorating – set out a bunch of 80’s movies, had a table of retro candy, and hung a poster with all the 80’s cartoons. Wait? What are you doing? You are now the creepy girl that is not talking to anyone, walking around looking at decorations trying to look busy. Deep breath, get it together, and go talk to someone like a normal human being!

I spot out the “last name guy” and his date – at least I had been introduced to him, so I head his way. I start making conversation asking him about the work he and BX had done together. He told me that they had worked together in North Carolina, and now they are technically competitors out here in LA. I asked questions and tried to stay very engaged in the conversation. Then it happened. He asked THE question.

“So how do you know BX?”

Oh shoot! We hadn’t talked about this. Did his friends know he was on Match.com? Was I supposed to lie? What was the response he wanted me to say? We really should have discussed and had a plan going into this date. Then I cleverly dodged it by replying “Well, we are on our second date…how about that?”

Oh man, I am so smart…a genius really. What a save! The award for cleverness of the night goes to…
But in the middle of me congratulating myself, I’m stopped in my tracks by another question.

“So where did you guys meet?”

DARN IT! Check mate. Guess I have to give back that cleverness award. I could feel myself get visibly nervous. A lot of people are shy about the whole “online dating” thing , but I was cornered – what do I say??! “Last name guy” must have seen me sweating, and I paused for at least a good 15 seconds, although it felt like an eternity.

I shrugged, and blurted out “Match.com.”

Oh well, I’m a horrible liar – it’s a virtue really, right? And that’s what BX gets for leaving me to get ice anyways. Don’t leave an anxious date in a room full of inquiring minds – she is bound to go rouge.

So after about a billion years, BX returns with two bags of ice…”Finally” I thought!

I never told him about the Spanish Inquiry I received from the “last name guy.” I had already been embarrassed enough; I was ready to just have a good time. Finally the food was ready and the drinks started flowing – that always makes a party more enjoyable. And after a while I was able to settle down, find my grove, and have an enjoyable time. We stayed for several hours – conversing, hanging out, etc. BX and I had some cute flirtatious moments – him putting his hand on the small of my back, catching each other’s eyes from across the room and smiling, and all that cheesy stuff.

Finally around midnight he looked at me and said that he was ready to go when I was…and I definitely was. So we took off and he drove me home. He pulled up outside of my apartment, we hugged goodbye in the car and I got out of the car.
No kiss…no awkward goodbye…all good.


But I do have a question for you all. Is it old fashion for a guy to walk a girl to the door? I mean its not like he was dropping me off a mile away from my apartment, but I kind of wished he had walked me up my steps and to my door. Maybe it would have been an awkward goodbye, but I like the chivalry. Thoughts?

Date Numero Uno…Let’s get this party started

Before I get to the juicy details of the first date, a few things you should know about this blog/process…

#1. A few people have asked me – “what happens if you find someone you like on one of the first few dates?” Well, as I was contemplating taking this journey, I decided early on that it wouldn’t be 50 “First” dates, but just 50 dates. That way it gives me the flexibility to have second dates with guys that I actually like/connect with. It’s more realistic that way, and furthermore I don’t want to treat these men as guinea pigs or just part of an “experiment.” In the unlikely event that I meet my soul mate on date #8, then I guess this blog will become about the journey of going on dates with this new guy. However, given my track record over the past 10 years, I think you guys can rest easy that it is much more likely that you’ll be reading about funny first-ish dates, rather than the sappy story of me falling in love. I will keep an open mind though to evolving the blog as my experience progresses.

#2. Not to be captain obvious, but well…it’s February, so I have already lost a month to 2010. But I actually started my dates a few weeks ago, so I’ll be catching up with entries on those experiences (starting with the first one today!). Once I’m caught up, I hope that this process will become more of a “real time” blog with probably 1 entry per week. But over the next week you will be inundated with hilarious blog entries – don’t get to used to it though!

#3. The method I have been using thus far to find these available men has been Match.com. (Dear Internet Gods – please keep me safe from any super scary weirdo guys, Amen). I have been contemplating also joining eHarmony – thought it might be fun to have a comparison on what type of dates I get from each. I’m also up for any other methods, so please send me your suggestions, hot single neighbors, etc. my way.

With out further ado…on to the first DATE!

One late night in January I started perusing ole Match.com. For those of you unfamiliar with this dating smorgasbord website, allow me to let you in on some of its finer points. You can do a “search” for potential matches narrowing down through a range of preferences – categories like where they live, physical features, political views, desire to have kids, and even exercise habits. Once you look at peoples profiles if you are interested you can either “wink” at them or “e-mail” them. I usually go for the “wink” – this effortless option somehow makes me feel better about technically making the first move.

Anyways, I threw a bunch of winks out there and BXwas one of the guys I winked at. He e-mailed the next day letting me know he was interested – enticing me with the fact that he was a Titans fan…how could I really say no? We had a few e-mail exchanges, and then decided to meet. We settled on a little place called Eclectic Café. I had never been, but it was very close to where I live (we both live in the same neighborhood). We decided to meet at 9pm. I rushed to get out work on time and ran to my house to change clothes quickly. I tried on a dress, and then tried on a jeans and a top…torn. I sent my sister a picture, but I was running out of time (less than 10 minutes to get there) so before she had time to get back to me, I made a snap decision on the jeans and top. I didn’t want to look like I was trying to hard. My sister wrote me back with encouragement, ensuring me that my top and jeans choice was cute too. I quickly touched up the make-up and ran out the door. I think I didn’t have a chance to get nervous since I was so pressed for time.

As I was pulling up, I got a text from BX“red or white?” Perfect! Wine was just what I needed after a long day at work. “Red” I replied. “Can I guess Merlot” he wrote back? Hmmm, decision time. Merlot is probably my least favorite red, but I would still drink it. I didn’t want to seem high maintenance, so I replied that whatever he chose would be fine. Less than a minute later, I walked through the door of this cute wine bar and grille, and saw a lone, dark-haired man sitting at the bar.


I knew that was him. As I approached the bar he turned, saw me, and smiled. First hurdle down – he showed up and didn’t bolt out the door when he saw me. With an internal sigh, I sat at the bar stool next to him and we greeted each other. He handed me my glass of merlot and he was drinking a beer. We started with small talk – what do you do, where are you from, yada, yada. From the website, I knew that he owned a grip company that catered to Hollywood. But what I didn’t know and what found out during our discussion was that he was also an actor. *sigh* An “Actor”…great. I usually steer clear from actors in this town. Everyone is an actor…or should I say, everyone is a waiter/ wanna-be actor. Although I am technically in the TV industry, I just really don’t identify with those people chasing fame. However, I give him the benefit of the doubt – because he’s not just an actor, but he smartly owns his own business that pays the bills – so if he does a little acting and he enjoys it, who am I to judge? Maybe he does it for the art, and doesn’t care for fame.

I finish my glass of wine and instinctively pick up the menu to order another. This means either the conversation is comfortable enough that I wanted to stay or maybe I just love wine. As I am looking at the wine list, BX asks if I like white wine. Well, I’m not the biggest white wine lover, but it really is an honest statement to say that I can pretty much drink any wine. I tell him that red is my favorite, but I can drink white. He says that he loves white, and if I will drink it with him, we should just get a bottle…hmmm. White? Really? He is definitely a smooth talker, and in my continued first-date politeness campaign, I agree. I want to be agreeable…and its wine, so what’s there really to complain about. We also decide to order and appetizer – potstickers, yum.

The conversation continues – we talk about football and more small talk subjects. Before I know it, an hour has passed and we have gone through the bottle of wine (aprox 2 glasses each). He comments that I seem unaffected by the wine, whereas he is feeling very buzzed – uh oh. Is this a bad sign on a first date? He continues further and says “I bet you could drink me under the table.” Oh no, is he joking? What does that say about me? Oh boy. But really – he is a least a half a foot taller than me and probably has 40 or so pounds on me – is he really feeling tipsy? Maybe in future dates, I should limit myself to one glass.

After that, its time to go home. He lives in walking distance, so I guess I didn’t have to worry about the affects of the alcohol on him ☺. He walks me to my car, gives me a hug, and we say good bye. No awkward lean in for a kiss or anything – I was off scot-free, and I appreciated him not trying any slick moves.

So overall the first date was a success. Wine, conversation, and no super-awkward moments. I thought to myself on my way home – if he asks me out on another date, I would go. Sure enough he did, and the next one turned out to be WAY more interesting, but you will have to stay tuned to hear about that!