Date #5 and #6 – (BX’s 3rd and 4th dates) – “I love the 80s”

Remember BX…the actor/business guy…the wine date guy…the 80’s party guy…the left me at the party to go get ice guy…yeah, that guy.

The week after the 80’s party, BX texted me to see if I could do drinks the next weekend. I couldn’t due to prior plans, so a couple of days later on a Tuesday afternoon, he called me to see if I wanted to get together after work for dinner. I let him know that I would get off sometime around 7:30 or 8, so we could meet up after that. At 5:30 he sent me a picture of food he was cooking – hmmm. Not really close to 7:30 or 8, but okay, maybe it was a meal that took a long time to cook. I confirmed with him around 7 that I was still good to meet him around 8, and then when I called him as I was leaving the office he told me that he had already eaten. Guess that’s why I got the picture at 5:30. He suggested we meet at Dragon Street restaurant so that I could have a bite to eat. I agreed and headed that way.



It was a small place in our neighborhood. As I walked in he was standing near a booth on his cell phone. I waved and he smiled back. Since he was on the phone, I took a seat in the booth, and then he sat down and continued his call. He was talking to a friend about some hack from their hometown who had been on the news for another movie production/investment gone bad. I listened for a while, and then finally he said “well, I better go, my date is here.” Gee thanks. He got of then phone and then recounted the whole drama for me.

During this time I ordered a beer, cream cheese wonton appetizers and a small soup. BX already had ordered a beer before I had gotten there and since he ate earlier, it was just me ordering. When the food came, BX caved and had some cream cheese wontons with me – they were pretty yummy. After some conversation and quick food, we asked for the bill. I insisted on paying since all he had was a beer, and I was the one eating. He conceded and simply thanked me. (wow, no bill drama…now that was the response I was looking for).

He then asked if I wanted to go to the bar next door, Skinny’s Lounge, for one more drink. I agreed and we walked across the street. On the way there he was telling me how cool this place was, how he goes there all the time, and how they have an 80’s night where a cover band plays.
We walk in and the bar is very cool looking – candle-lit, rock walls, modern wood grain bar, simple black bar stools and a dance floor.



And the bar looked just like the pictures above because NO ONE was in there…besides the bartender who was perched near the cash register. BX “knew” the bartender and introduced me. I get the feeling that BX “knows” a lot of people – he’s a very social guy, smooth talker. He asks about the 80’s band, and the bartender says they haven’t played there in over a year – guess BX doesn’t go there as often as he says. BX laments that this band is no longer playing, and so I tell him about an 80’s band that plays every weekend in Burbank. He is now excited.

Since the bartender is the only guy there, the 3 of us chitchat about music and have a few drinks. The bartender was from TN and we start discussing a lot of different topics. I notice that I’m more interested in what he is saying. Oh no, are you flirting with the bartender while you are on a date right now??!! Not classy Nicole!

I try to focus back on BX. He tells me that he has a “friend’s” band is playing this weekend and I should come out. I tell him that I can’t because I’m going home to TN. After a while, we decide to wrap it up. We share a hug outside of the bar, and go our separate ways.


------------BX's 4th date---------


The next day I realized that I wasn’t actually going to TN that weekend, it was the next weekend. I guess it was wishful thinking on my part. So I decided to text BX that in case he wanted to do something. He responded that he did want to get together and suggested Friday. About this time I started to get the bug that I wanted to go skydiving, so I figured I would ask BX – why not, right?

He didn’t respond to my text, but instead called me.

“Skydiving?” he asked. “Yeah, its always something I wanted to do, so I just I have to take the plunge…literally.” In the nicest way, BX pretty much told me “no way, Jose.” He said he was afraid of heights, and pretty much begged me to do anything else with him, but he just couldn’t go skydiving with me. “Awww come on!” I protested but to no avail. Back to the drawing board on the skydiving mission.

So Friday rolls around, and he texts me out of the blue...”Werewolf!” I rack my brain – what could he be talking about? Oh, It dawns on me that it must his friend’s band he had mentioned. So I respond “Is that the name of the band?” He texts me back “Lol. The new movie” “Ohhh” I respond embarrassed. He teases me more by texting “I knew you were quick on the uptake.” So I text him back “Last time I checked, I wasn’t a mindreader ☺”

What a lame response – what am I a 10 year old? Gah!

He calls me few hours later and says he wants to see a movie in Burbank and he also wants to go to a bookstore. I say okay, and we make arrangements for him to pick me up around nine. I get home from work around 8 and decide to look up some movie options. It is then I finally make the “Werewolf” connection – he was talking about “The Wolfman” – who’s the douche that is slow on the uptake now! Ha!

I watch several trailers, including Wolfman, and I really wasn’t that intrigued in much. I kind of wanted to see “Up in the Air” though. I quickly spruce up and immediately notice a big zit on the left side of my chin. Fabulous. I thought dating with acne stopped after high school? Where are my privileges for waiting until I was older to date?! Arg! And yes, I of course spend the date trying to make sure to stay on his left side so he doesn’t have to stare at the red growth on my face – gah! He arrives at 9 to pick me and my zit up.

In the car we discuss the plan for once we get to Burbank and specifically the movie choice. I admit to him that I’m not that really in the mood for “The Wolfman” that night and he asks what else was there to see. I said not much but that I had been wanting to see “Up in the Air.” He pretty much shuts that down saying that he doesn’t like to see dramas in the theatre, he saves those for DVD rentals. Great, we already can’t agree on a movie. He then suggests that maybe we blow off the movie and just get a drink. Sure, I agree and suggest that there is Burbank Bar and Grill that we could go to. “In fact” I say “Its Friday, right? They have the 80’s cover band playing tonight.” About as soon as the words fell out of mouth, I regretted them. He of course jumped all over that and was like “we have to go! Now I’m super excited!” It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see them, I just had mentally prepared myself for a quiet movie night, and I knew the bar would be busy and that this would not be a low-key night at all now.

So we park in Burbank, and BX mentions again that he wants to go to a bookstore before the bar. “Why the bookstore” I finally ask. “Because I need a new book” he says, as if that was a silly question. He continues to tell me that he has an acting gig on Sunday so he needs a book for his down time. Oh yes, the acting thing. Well, at least he can read – that is a big plus.
After BX picks out a book from the bookstore, we head to Burbank Bar and Grill. Busy was an understatement for this bar on that Friday night – it was PACKED – barely standing room, and the band wasn’t due on for another 30-45 minutes. We post up near the bar, and BX orders us some drinks. After that BX turns on his smooth talking and starts trying to get us seats at the bar – he tells the patrons sitting there that when they are ready to leave, he will buy their last round if they give us their seats. I was impressed with his ingenuity and forwardness – however I’m starting to wrestle with the fact that he is borderline used car salesman cheesy for me.
We approach the hostess about getting a table, but they are of course packed (and really unorganized too) – she says she will work on getting us one. After about 30 minutes of standing around, the band is starting to warm-up. I notice that when people are getting up from tables, other people are just nabbing them – so what is the hostess for? I go in and check with her again, and she is still working on it. Finally a little while later, I see a table getting up and we are able to slyly nab it. In an attempt to “do the right thing” I still go up to the hostess and let her know about this table and make sure we can take it – she agrees since we have been waiting so long. Phew. Once we sit, we ordered some appetizers and more drinks. I was happy to get out of the crowd and have a place to sit.


*pic of the lead singer and a packed crowd at BBG - photo from their website since they play there every weekend.

The band went on, and they were really good and entertaining, but I still find myself checking the time and feeling ready to go. Is it just that I’m not in the mood for a wild night or is it BX? A little after midnight we call it a night. And BX drives me back home. We say hug goodbye in the car, and I walk up to my door.

So here I am, and I feel like I’m at a crossroads with BX. 4 dates. Is that enough to know if you like someone? My mom tells me that sometimes I don’t give people enough chances, and my friends often worry that I have a fairytale in my head of instant romance. So I am purposely going on multiple dates with guys even if there aren’t fireworks on the first date – I’m giving the chance for those fireworks to be lit. But here I am at the end of date 4 with BX, and nothing. I don’t have the urge to be anything but friends.

I don’t get butterflies when he texts me, or before I’m about to see him.

I don’t feel the urge to grab his hand when we were walking side by side.

I don’t have a secret hope that he will kiss me at the end of the night.

Nothing


Does this mean I don’t like him for more than just a friend? Did I give it a fair enough shot and is it time to move on? I feel like its just not happening – am I wasting my time if I go on more dates with him?