BX follow-up

For all of you following the BX dates, and to answer all your advice and questions, here is an UPDATE...

First, the subject of the BOOK:
Since many of you asked about the book he bought on our last date, I have to come clean and admit....I don't exactly remember what he got. Once in the bookstore, we actually went our separate ways (yes, it was awkward). He bought a book that was 2nd in a series in which he had already read the first. It was a series about an ex-CIA agent, but I did not recognize the name of the book or author, and really can not remember the details now. Sorry!

As far as everyone's advice goes, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for giving me insight and thanks for even caring about this crazy journey I'm on :)

I asked the question if 4 dates was enough for BX, and my very wise friends and family quickly answered back that it isn't about a certain number. Many astute readers also pointed out that they read my tone, or read between the lines, and they felt that there just wasn't a connection. You guys are very intuitive.

I thought long and hard about BX and realized it is the end of the road for us. No, it wasn't that it was 4 dates. And no, it wasn't one specific thing. But it was just a culmination of little things, and a feeling in my gut that it wasn't right.

Yes, I wanted him to walk me to the door.

And yes, I wish he hadn't left me at the party.

And yes, I wish he would have waited to have dinner with me instead of eating on his own.

And yes, I wish he would of been open to actually discussing which movie to watch.

And yes, I wish that once, just once, he would have turned to me and asked me a genuine question about myself - "What do YOU want to do?" "How was YOUR day?" "Tell me what YOU would like to eat."

I hope that doesn't sound selfish on my part. But the more I evaluated the dates with BX, the more I realized how one-sided they felt. It was always about what he needed, he wanted, or he felt like doing.

In relationships, I think that I tend to be very agreeable - sometimes to a fault. I have to make sure not to lose myself or my identity in my effort to put my best foot forward. Its okay for me to like red wine, or want to see Up In The Air, or want to go skydiving. And no, my partner doesn't always have to agree or enjoy everything I do, but I hope that he would want to comprise sometimes and try to experience the things that I suggest.

So on to the next one. And speaking of skydiving, that date is up next :)