Date #4 – A.S.’ second date – “The Situation”

You may recall A.S. – the one with the awkward road goodbye, and the one that then rescinded the whole conversation via text the next day…yeah, that guy. Friday rolled around, and he texted me again, saying that now his Friday had opened back up and wanted to know if we could meet up. Make up your mind buddy. But alas I was not available on Friday anymore, so I told him we’d have to pick another day. We texted several more times at the beginning of the following week, and finally landed on picking Wednesday to get together. He asked me if I had seen the movie “An Education” or if I cared to. I responded that I hadn’t seen it, but was open to go see that movie. He then texted me back the following:

“Very Cool! You mind if it’s a screener? That means DVD at one of our establishments. I’m good to host or visit if its comfortable with you.”

Decision time. It’s only a second date and he is trying to get me to go to his apartment or come to mine. My gut tells me this is weird and too early to suggest this. However he did ask in a non-threatening way…although what guy with inappropriate intentions would ask in a threatening way? I paused for a few moments before responding, internally debating myself. I go against my better judgment and tell him that it is fine. When he asks which place I would prefer, I immediately say his place. I felt I could be more in control of that situation – I could leave when I wanted to if it got uncomfortable, and that way he wouldn’t know where I lived. All pluses.

He asked if I wanted to do dinner, drinks, or both before or after the movie. Gosh, a lot of decisions to be made. Being agreeable, I said dinner would be fine, and that turned out to be the best decision I made.

Wednesday rolled around and he suggested a Thai place that was close to us both. As I was getting ready to leave work, I texted him that I was on my way. Shortly after I arrived to the restaurant, Original Thai, and realized that I had beaten him there. I grabbed a booth/table that was against the wall and facing the door so I could easily see him come in.



As I waited I ordered a beer and thumbed through the menu. About 5 minutes later he walked through the door. I got up from my seat to give him a hug. “Oh…okay” he said as he awkwardly hugged me back. I guess he’s not a big hugger. He chose the seat next to me on the booth instead of sitting across from me. I liked that.

The waitress came up and asked what he would like to drink and he ordered a hot tea. Hot tea? Red Flag. Not that I have anything against tea, but it just seemed like an odd choice. And as you may remember on the last date even though he was the one that suggested meeting at the bar, he didn’t drink because he had “auditions” the next day. And now on date #2, he sees that I’m drinking a beer and yet he orders a hot tea? Does he not drink? Not that I’m looking for someone who has to drink to have a good time, but I’ll be the first to admit that I’m an advocate of having a cocktail on a date – it takes the edge off from the awkwardness. I’m not suggesting that we get hammered or anything, but let’s just say I think he could have used a cocktail.

Moving on, time to make our entrée choices. I ordered a soup and a noodle dish – Pad See Ew. He ordered a soup and some chicken and vegetable main dish. As we waited for our food, I would rate the conversation to be a 4 out of 10. It was dragging a bit and I was struggling to keep it going. I asked him about his week, and if he had anything interesting going on. He started to talk about a digital short that he was working on for his YouTube channel – some sort of a political satire short. I was very supportive, asking him questions, and even told him I would love to see it when it was done. “Oh, I don’t know – it’s not that good. I messed up on the shoot and the first part of the audio is bad.” Um, okay. He was clearly insure about it. And at the risk of sounding mean – I really didn’t care about seeing the video one way or another – I was just trying to be supportive, interested, and polite. So if he didn’t want to share with me, that’s fine.

The food comes, we struggle through some more conversation, and I find myself making excuses for the lulls. “Sorry I’m more quiet, I’m just so tired” I tried to justify to him. I planted the seed that I may not be able to watch a movie afterwards - depending on the time. Finally we get to a point where we are done with our meals. The waitress asks if we need boxes and we both say yes. I then found myself chuckling inside thinking of the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” and the quote about taking home leftovers:

“Random Guy: A girl will never sleep with you if she calls you "cuddly" or "dependable", if she pops a zit in front of you, if her name is Amber or Christine, if she takes a dump in your bathroom, or if she takes leftovers on dates one, two, or three. I know it's not scientific, but I'm just saying, you were warned.”

Haha. I guess this is not looking good for A.S.

After our food was boxed, the waitress comes back to the table with the bill and fortune cooks. And this is where it all went downhill.

First let me share my philosophy on “who pays” for dates. I don’t think the burden should have to solely fall on the man to pay for everything, so I always offer to a least pay half (or “go dutch” if you will). If a guy prefers to pay, of course that is fine with me. If a guy allows me to pay some or all, I’m good with that too. So when the bill was dropped off, I did the natural “grab your wallet” sign that you do to indicate that I was offering. This seems like a pretty universal signal to me – I do it at business lunches, friend dinners, and dates – grabbing your wallet says “hey, I’m willing to take care of the bill, or at least some portion.” So after grabbing my wallet, he didn’t immediately say anything. He put down his card. So then I deliberately and slowly take out my card, making sure he saw me pulling out my card…pause, eye contact made…still he said nothing. Okay, I took this lack of comment as he was good with me putting my card down too, and just didn’t want to make a big deal about it. Dutch…sounds good…fine with me. After I set my card down, we start to open of fortune cookies, but A.S. pauses and then gives me a very weird look. He finally speaks:

“Uh, this is uncomfortable.”

Confused, I look around trying to figure out what he is talking about. I notice that he is now staring at the bill with our two cards on it. So I respond.

“Oh.” relived that it wasn’t something bigger, I continued “I just wanted to offer to pay some, but if you are not comfortable with that, it’s fine. Whatever you prefer is good with me.”

He is now getting more visibly uncomfortable by the minute. He rubs his head and then very flustered he puts his hand up by his face.


*Not A.S., just an example

With his hands still near his face, he slightly moves them back and forth as he begins to speak.

“I’m just not good in these situations.” He frustratingly blurts out.

I’m thinking situation? What situation? The bill?

“Well” I responded, “It’s really no big deal to me either way, whatever makes you comfortable. Dating is a two-way street, so I just wanted to offer, not make you uncomfortable.”

He awkwardly continues to dodge looking at me, and just appears super distressed, shifting in his seat.

The waitress comes back, looks at the bill and asks if it is ready. I pause for a moment to see what he would say, waiting for him to make a decision that would hopefully make him more comfortable. But he seemed to remain in his personal spiral not saying a word, so I spoke up and just told the waitress to put half on each card.

I open up my fortune and read the words “Accept the next proposition you hear.” I decide not to share this with him – not sure what he might say.

The waitress comes back with the credit card receipts, and A.S. said, “at least let me leave the tip.” Of course I agreed.

Now I want to be clear about how this “situation” made me feel. I didn’t care either way who paid, whether we split it, or whatever. Again, I think it is the polite thing to do to at least offer, and that is what I thought I was doing. What I didn’t like was how he reacted. After I put my card down on the bill he could have said a million other things that would have been okay…
- he could have just simply said “thanks” and let us split it.
- he could of insisted to pay (if that is how he felt)
- he could have said nothing if he was that uncomfortable and just let the waitress take it.
He basically could have done anything except react in the way he did. He freaked out. He made the “situation” a big deal, when it didn’t have to be a big deal.

And again, it wasn’t about the bill or who paid, but it did throw up a huge red flag for me. If this guy panicked over who paid for dinner – how would he be in a real “situation”? What if later on down the line, we were hit with a real crisis, how would he respond?

Basically what this “situation” told me is that I don’t want this guy in my foxhole.

So we leave the restaurant, and I was glad I planted the seed earlier about being too tired for the movie, because I took this opportunity to politely reschedule. I offered to take him home since he had walked, and he was about a mile a way. Once we pulled up to his house, we hugged in the car, and he kissed me on the cheek. I told him “see you again soon” and just left it at that.

It’s probably pretty clear to you all that I was thinking I didn’t really want another date with this guy. But I guess the feeling was mutual, because neither of us have texted each other since.


Should I rethink offering to pay the bill?

Date #3 – BX’s second date – “Love is a Battlefield”

After the wine date with BX, the next week he texted me and asked me if I had plans on Friday or Saturday. I told him that I was available on Saturday and he texted me back “do you have 80’s clothes?” Hmmm – intriguing. My response was important. If I jumped back and said yes too quickly, would he think I was weird for having 80’s clothes so readily available? If I said no, would he not let me in on something cool that was happening? So I settled on the response “I’m sure I could find something” – how very elusive of me, right? He shot back a text to me saying “then prepare for an 80’s party!” With further back and forth, I learned that it was an 80’s themed house party celebrating his friend’s birthday. I guess I could be down for that, I was thinking to myself – I mean who am I to turn down a good “theme” party?

So Saturday rolled around, and I was still recovering from my Friday night thanks to Cat’s Black, White, and Bling Bash – see, I told you I can’t turn down a theme party. On my way home from the South Bay I start to evaluate what I was actually going to wear to this thing. Do I go all out? I mean this is only a second date and I could still very easily scare this guy off. I didn’t know him or his friends at all – so how much do they actually “get into” a theme? The other factor weighing in on decision is that I still wanted to look somewhat like myself since this was a date – i.e. no wigs were in my future. So with all those things in mind, I decided I would do a jean skirt (something I owned), hot pink fishnets (something I needed to buy), and then some kind of top. I stopped off at a mall on my way home and picked up some pink fishnets and also scored an awesome white belt with pink studs – this outfit was really coming together. I regret to inform you loyal readers that I did not take any photos of the finished outfit…I apologize – I will be more diligent about these pertinent blog materials in the future. However, here is a glimpse at what the outfit looked like…

Pink Fishnets + jean skirt + off the shoulder top + white and pink studded belt = 80’s magic.

+ + +


BX called me and confirmed he would pick me up at 8. He showed up right on time, and I pranced down nervously in my 80’s get-up. He was parked outside of my apartment sitting in his jeep-like suv, and he had the passenger side window rolled down.
“Woooowwwww” he said from the car with a grin. I did a twirl and admitted that I clearly can get into themes. As I got in the car, I evaluated his outfit. He had ripped jeans and a fraternity shirt – he claimed to be a fraternity guy from the 80’s. Not the most ingenious outfit I had ever seen, but hey, mine wasn’t top of the line either.

So we take the short 5-minute drive to his friend’s place. We parked and were walking up to the apartment when BX ran into his friend and date. He hollered out his last name as we crossed the street. I thought “does he call everyone by their last names or is this his 80’s “fraternity” persona that he is embracing?” He introduced me to his friend, tells me that they have worked together, and then we all headed in.

We walked inside about 10 minutes after 8pm, and there were 4 girls in awesome 80’s outfits, feverishly still setting up. We were the first ones there…great. I was definitely out of my comfort zone. Not only was I on a second date, and not only was I at a party where I knew NO-ONE, but now I was the “uncomfortable first guest.” Now if you are going to a close friend’s or family member’s party, being the first guest is not that weird, but being at a party where you don’t really know the people and you are first….well, that is just uncomfortable. And from the other perspective, as I have hosted several events, it sucks when people start arriving, but you are still behind on the set-up and are just not ready for people to be there.

BX started pointing out girls and telling me their names, and labeling one girl as his “BFF.”
All night he called her “BFF,” not her actual name – is that strange?
Anyways, after the quick roll call, BX opened the bottle of wine he brought – yes, a bottle of white wine – and poured us two glasses. Right after we got our drinks, the main hostess asked BX “could we convince you to run to the store and grab some ice?” BX of course agreed, and I expected him to turn to me and say “let’s go,” but instead he handed me his drink and said, “I’ll be right back.”
WHAT???!!! I wanted to respond, “Oh no, I coming with you!” but before my mouth could even open, he was already out the door. AGGGHHHH! Now not only am I the weird girl at the party that nobody knows, but I’ve been ditched by my date and I’m all alone! And in pink fishnets! *Sigh*

I wander around the apartment looking at all the décor they put up. They did a really cute job decorating – set out a bunch of 80’s movies, had a table of retro candy, and hung a poster with all the 80’s cartoons. Wait? What are you doing? You are now the creepy girl that is not talking to anyone, walking around looking at decorations trying to look busy. Deep breath, get it together, and go talk to someone like a normal human being!

I spot out the “last name guy” and his date – at least I had been introduced to him, so I head his way. I start making conversation asking him about the work he and BX had done together. He told me that they had worked together in North Carolina, and now they are technically competitors out here in LA. I asked questions and tried to stay very engaged in the conversation. Then it happened. He asked THE question.

“So how do you know BX?”

Oh shoot! We hadn’t talked about this. Did his friends know he was on Match.com? Was I supposed to lie? What was the response he wanted me to say? We really should have discussed and had a plan going into this date. Then I cleverly dodged it by replying “Well, we are on our second date…how about that?”

Oh man, I am so smart…a genius really. What a save! The award for cleverness of the night goes to…
But in the middle of me congratulating myself, I’m stopped in my tracks by another question.

“So where did you guys meet?”

DARN IT! Check mate. Guess I have to give back that cleverness award. I could feel myself get visibly nervous. A lot of people are shy about the whole “online dating” thing , but I was cornered – what do I say??! “Last name guy” must have seen me sweating, and I paused for at least a good 15 seconds, although it felt like an eternity.

I shrugged, and blurted out “Match.com.”

Oh well, I’m a horrible liar – it’s a virtue really, right? And that’s what BX gets for leaving me to get ice anyways. Don’t leave an anxious date in a room full of inquiring minds – she is bound to go rouge.

So after about a billion years, BX returns with two bags of ice…”Finally” I thought!

I never told him about the Spanish Inquiry I received from the “last name guy.” I had already been embarrassed enough; I was ready to just have a good time. Finally the food was ready and the drinks started flowing – that always makes a party more enjoyable. And after a while I was able to settle down, find my grove, and have an enjoyable time. We stayed for several hours – conversing, hanging out, etc. BX and I had some cute flirtatious moments – him putting his hand on the small of my back, catching each other’s eyes from across the room and smiling, and all that cheesy stuff.

Finally around midnight he looked at me and said that he was ready to go when I was…and I definitely was. So we took off and he drove me home. He pulled up outside of my apartment, we hugged goodbye in the car and I got out of the car.
No kiss…no awkward goodbye…all good.


But I do have a question for you all. Is it old fashion for a guy to walk a girl to the door? I mean its not like he was dropping me off a mile away from my apartment, but I kind of wished he had walked me up my steps and to my door. Maybe it would have been an awkward goodbye, but I like the chivalry. Thoughts?

Date #2 – Good Night, no really, Good Night.

With one date under my belt, I’m feeling braver, and I’m ready to get this thing really cooking. Back to the Match.com site to search for another prospect. I log on and have an e-mail from a gentleman that seems pretty normal (I believe he may have been a response to my first mass “wink” expedition where I roped in my first date). This guy we will call A.S. (see note below). So, A.S. and I exchange a few e-mails back and forth. I remember he titled his first e-mail “2 overachievers.” That was intriguing to me – what do 2 overachievers together equal? Are they compatible or not? Guess I’m about to find out….

So after our e-mail correspondence, we decide to meet up one night for drinks. He suggests a nearby bar – No Bar. Again this is in my neighborhood, North Hollywood, and he lives close as well. I had driven by the outside of this bar for years, but never been in.


As I was pulling up, he texted me that he was there – I let him know that I was parking and walking in. As I approached the outside door, I saw a guy that looked like the Match.com pictures, so I knew that must be A.S. I greeted him outside with a hug and hello and he lead me through the main door to the bar. The inside was very dark and hip – there was the main room with the bar, a side room with benches lining the wall and little cubes to sit on, and a third room with a pool table. As we walked up to the bar, I noticed he had already ordered a drink. He asked me what I would like. I paused, with a verbal “hmmmmm” as I was looking around for a drink menu. The first drink order is very important – it can set the tone for the night, and on a first date it can tell the guy what type of girl you are. “Well, what are you having?” I inquired. He looked down at his tall reddish drink and then looked back at me. He stumbled on his words as he tried to get them out “well, umm…I hope this doesn’t offend you…but I’m not drinking tonight. I have several auditions tomorrow”

What?! No, I’m not upset about him not drinking, but Another actor? Really LA? Is there anyone in this city that is NOT an actor?

“Oh no worries” I replied “but I hope you don’t mind that I do.” We both let out a laugh, and I ordered a Grey Goose and Tonic from the bartender (my go-to drink).
After we had our cocktails in hand, we found a spot to sit down in the bench room – at the only table that was not taken.

We sat and started the normal first date small talk – “so what is it that you do?” He seemed very interested in my job – I think we spent at least 30 minutes with him asking endless questions about my job – to the point where I thought for sure he was about to pitch me a TV show idea. Right when I was about to pipe up and try to change the subject, he must have notice my conversation fatigue and actually apologized for grilling me. “Sorry I have so many questions about your job, I just find it so interesting.” Okay, apology got him off the hook – moving on now.

So what does he do? Well, once again I was duped by the Match.com profile. Online he says that he is a writer/producer for digital shorts. Translation – he has his own youtube channel, and creates comedy sketches. But he is also and actor and waiter. Yup, another person perpetuating the LA stereotype. I remind myself mentally not to get hung up on this. And really I can respect the ambition of trying to make something happen in Hollywood. So we chitchat more about life – where we are from, siblings, and football (that seems to be a recurring subject – guess its my picture on Match.com in the Vince Young jersey).

After a few hours of conversation (and only one drink – btw, I wanted another one, but we weren’t sitting at the bar, and there never seemed to be a good time to get up), we decided to call it a night. We walk out of the bar, and he starts to walk me to my car.
Now to tell the next part of this story, I will need the help of my visual aides for you to get the full effect. Here is the bar in relation to my car:


Okay, so we exit the bar, and as you can see from the picture above, I had parked on the street, but on the other side. A.S. being a gentleman, indicates that he will walk me to my car. So we cross the street, walk up the sidewalk, and stand next to my car (near my passenger side door). It is there that we say good night – I wish him luck on his auditions tomorrow, we hug, and then head our separate ways.

Or so I thought…As I cross in front of my car and open up my driver-side door, I look back and he is standing there, in the road at my driver-side door. He starts to talk again, but he is visibly nervous and mostly looks at his feet, not me.

“I…Uh…had a really good time tonight” he says.

“Yeah me too” I replied…but really I’m thinking “please don’t let us get hit by a car.”

“So…I was wondering…uh…if you would like to…uh…do it again sometime” he continued

“Sure thing, you have my number, so just give me a call”

“Well, how about…uh this uh…this Friday?”

“Hmmm” I said with a pause as I mentally was trying to pull up my calendar. But before I could respond, he broke in.

“Oh, well you don’t have to commit right now if you don’t want to…I mean, it’s fine…whatever”

Feeling the need to comfort his insecurity, I responded “No that’s not it. I was just trying to think if I had any prior commitments. But Friday will be just fine.” To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I was free or not, but I just wanted to get out of the middle of the road and go home by this point.

“Okay, cool – do you like movies?”

What? Is he really still having a conversation with me?

“Uh, yeah of course.” I replied

And then he continues to ramble aimlessly “I mean movies aren't the most social event to do, but we could do something social before or after…or both. Like dinner or drinks or whatever.”

I cut him off a little “yeah, that sounds great – I’m up for whatever.”

“Okay great, see you then.” He says. He pauses and then finally turns to cross the street.


Scene of the crime:

Phew that was awkward. I jump in my car and giggle to myself a little. I felt bad for him – I could feel how hard and nerve-racking that was to ask me out on a second date. And as awkward as it was for me, I give him credit for trying to lock in a second date. As I mentioned, he was very uncomfortable and could barely make eye contact, but for now I will think of this as endearing – I mean, it must mean that he likes me if I make him so nervous, right?

So I think to myself as I drive home, I will give this guy another date – well actually I already committed it to it, right? But the funniest part about this whole story is that the next day I get a text from A.S. saying “Hey Nicole, great meeting you last night. I actually do have plans on Friday but I’d love to go out with you again. “

What??!! Are you serious? Why did we have to have the awkward road conversation then? And weren’t you the one that suggested Friday?

Boys!


Side note on the guys’ names: I’m still navigating these new waters of blogging, and I hadn’t really figured out how I would handle all matters concerning these guys. Instead of using their names, I will give them some sort of initials – and no it won’t be there first and last initial – truth be told, I rarely know their last names even after a first date. I have changed my first date’s name to the initials BX, so that is how he will be referred to from here on out. And the second date with BX will be the next entry, so stay tuned. I‘m also still contemplating if and when I tell these guys about the blog. If its just one date, then there is probably no need, but if I start going on several dates with a guy, is it untruthful for me not to tell him that I’m blogging about my experiences? Not a bridge I have to cross just yet, but feel free to give me your advice.

Thank guys!

Date Numero Uno…Let’s get this party started

Before I get to the juicy details of the first date, a few things you should know about this blog/process…

#1. A few people have asked me – “what happens if you find someone you like on one of the first few dates?” Well, as I was contemplating taking this journey, I decided early on that it wouldn’t be 50 “First” dates, but just 50 dates. That way it gives me the flexibility to have second dates with guys that I actually like/connect with. It’s more realistic that way, and furthermore I don’t want to treat these men as guinea pigs or just part of an “experiment.” In the unlikely event that I meet my soul mate on date #8, then I guess this blog will become about the journey of going on dates with this new guy. However, given my track record over the past 10 years, I think you guys can rest easy that it is much more likely that you’ll be reading about funny first-ish dates, rather than the sappy story of me falling in love. I will keep an open mind though to evolving the blog as my experience progresses.

#2. Not to be captain obvious, but well…it’s February, so I have already lost a month to 2010. But I actually started my dates a few weeks ago, so I’ll be catching up with entries on those experiences (starting with the first one today!). Once I’m caught up, I hope that this process will become more of a “real time” blog with probably 1 entry per week. But over the next week you will be inundated with hilarious blog entries – don’t get to used to it though!

#3. The method I have been using thus far to find these available men has been Match.com. (Dear Internet Gods – please keep me safe from any super scary weirdo guys, Amen). I have been contemplating also joining eHarmony – thought it might be fun to have a comparison on what type of dates I get from each. I’m also up for any other methods, so please send me your suggestions, hot single neighbors, etc. my way.

With out further ado…on to the first DATE!

One late night in January I started perusing ole Match.com. For those of you unfamiliar with this dating smorgasbord website, allow me to let you in on some of its finer points. You can do a “search” for potential matches narrowing down through a range of preferences – categories like where they live, physical features, political views, desire to have kids, and even exercise habits. Once you look at peoples profiles if you are interested you can either “wink” at them or “e-mail” them. I usually go for the “wink” – this effortless option somehow makes me feel better about technically making the first move.

Anyways, I threw a bunch of winks out there and BXwas one of the guys I winked at. He e-mailed the next day letting me know he was interested – enticing me with the fact that he was a Titans fan…how could I really say no? We had a few e-mail exchanges, and then decided to meet. We settled on a little place called Eclectic Café. I had never been, but it was very close to where I live (we both live in the same neighborhood). We decided to meet at 9pm. I rushed to get out work on time and ran to my house to change clothes quickly. I tried on a dress, and then tried on a jeans and a top…torn. I sent my sister a picture, but I was running out of time (less than 10 minutes to get there) so before she had time to get back to me, I made a snap decision on the jeans and top. I didn’t want to look like I was trying to hard. My sister wrote me back with encouragement, ensuring me that my top and jeans choice was cute too. I quickly touched up the make-up and ran out the door. I think I didn’t have a chance to get nervous since I was so pressed for time.

As I was pulling up, I got a text from BX“red or white?” Perfect! Wine was just what I needed after a long day at work. “Red” I replied. “Can I guess Merlot” he wrote back? Hmmm, decision time. Merlot is probably my least favorite red, but I would still drink it. I didn’t want to seem high maintenance, so I replied that whatever he chose would be fine. Less than a minute later, I walked through the door of this cute wine bar and grille, and saw a lone, dark-haired man sitting at the bar.


I knew that was him. As I approached the bar he turned, saw me, and smiled. First hurdle down – he showed up and didn’t bolt out the door when he saw me. With an internal sigh, I sat at the bar stool next to him and we greeted each other. He handed me my glass of merlot and he was drinking a beer. We started with small talk – what do you do, where are you from, yada, yada. From the website, I knew that he owned a grip company that catered to Hollywood. But what I didn’t know and what found out during our discussion was that he was also an actor. *sigh* An “Actor”…great. I usually steer clear from actors in this town. Everyone is an actor…or should I say, everyone is a waiter/ wanna-be actor. Although I am technically in the TV industry, I just really don’t identify with those people chasing fame. However, I give him the benefit of the doubt – because he’s not just an actor, but he smartly owns his own business that pays the bills – so if he does a little acting and he enjoys it, who am I to judge? Maybe he does it for the art, and doesn’t care for fame.

I finish my glass of wine and instinctively pick up the menu to order another. This means either the conversation is comfortable enough that I wanted to stay or maybe I just love wine. As I am looking at the wine list, BX asks if I like white wine. Well, I’m not the biggest white wine lover, but it really is an honest statement to say that I can pretty much drink any wine. I tell him that red is my favorite, but I can drink white. He says that he loves white, and if I will drink it with him, we should just get a bottle…hmmm. White? Really? He is definitely a smooth talker, and in my continued first-date politeness campaign, I agree. I want to be agreeable…and its wine, so what’s there really to complain about. We also decide to order and appetizer – potstickers, yum.

The conversation continues – we talk about football and more small talk subjects. Before I know it, an hour has passed and we have gone through the bottle of wine (aprox 2 glasses each). He comments that I seem unaffected by the wine, whereas he is feeling very buzzed – uh oh. Is this a bad sign on a first date? He continues further and says “I bet you could drink me under the table.” Oh no, is he joking? What does that say about me? Oh boy. But really – he is a least a half a foot taller than me and probably has 40 or so pounds on me – is he really feeling tipsy? Maybe in future dates, I should limit myself to one glass.

After that, its time to go home. He lives in walking distance, so I guess I didn’t have to worry about the affects of the alcohol on him ☺. He walks me to my car, gives me a hug, and we say good bye. No awkward lean in for a kiss or anything – I was off scot-free, and I appreciated him not trying any slick moves.

So overall the first date was a success. Wine, conversation, and no super-awkward moments. I thought to myself on my way home – if he asks me out on another date, I would go. Sure enough he did, and the next one turned out to be WAY more interesting, but you will have to stay tuned to hear about that!

“You are everything I never knew I always wanted.”

“50 dates with Nicole” - No, it’s not something I’m auctioning off…thankfully…I would feel bad for the person who won that prize. “50 dates with Nicole” is my new blog, well, my first blog really. At the beginning of this year, I decided I would go on 50 dates. Why?

I lost a bet? No

I need free dinners? Nah, I’m doing fine in the food department

I enjoy taking on awkward and self-deprecating tasks? That’s debatable, but I’m gonna say No on that one for now.

I’m looking for Mr. Right? Well, technically yes, but still not the reason I started these shenanigans.

The reason I decided to go on this adventure was really just for ME. You see, I have been in a bit of a rut lately – personally and professionally. I figured the only way to get myself out of this funk is to make some changes and take on some challenges in my life.

I have been single for the majority of my life. I’ve never been one of those people that go from relationship to relationship. Heck, I haven’t been one of those people with many relationships to count at all. (lets not try to evaluate why that is just yet – I can only take a few self-revelations on my first blog entry ☺)

Regardless of why or why not I have dated in the past, I figured it would be good for me to put myself out there…really out there for once. I’m not expecting to find a “boyfriend” or companionship out of this, I really feel like this is more of a self-exploration to help me figure out what it is that I’m looking for in an eventual mate. Do I like soft-spoken or talkative guys? Am I more drawn to artistic or business type men? I truly do not know, but I’m hoping to find out. By forcing myself to go out on 50 dates this year, I’m bound to learn what the heck I want…or at least something about myself!

For years I have been saying “I’m going to work less, and LIVE more,” but I seem to always find a way to put it off. I clearly am the type of person that needs more tangible goals…50 dates…50 reasons to leave the office early…50 reasons to try something I never have before…50 reasons to live life to the fullest. And I figure that if I’m going on this adventure, why not take friends and family with me! Well…in the blogging world that is…because I can’t actually physically take you all with me – that would make for some weird first dates.

And really what’s more fun than reading about the life of a loved one (that’s me, in case you were wondering)…that’s right, reading about awkward dates! I can guarantee you that there will be some of that, because lets face it, dating is AWKWARD!

So feel free to send me advice, chime in on who I should date again, what I should do, or even set me up! But most importantly feel free to laugh with me and at me over this year, because God knows I’m sure I will be too.